I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
