I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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