hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
