My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
