Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
