i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You're a waste of cheezeits
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
