My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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