Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
