I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm too high and old for this...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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