absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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