I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
