margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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