How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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