Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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