Do you still have your period?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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