Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
