Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
