I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
