You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
