i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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