went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
