At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
