Do vagina's smell?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
