I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
