its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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