Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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