worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
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