Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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