I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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