he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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