The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
