i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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