I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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