things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
