a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize