paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
