I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
