Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
