...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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