please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My vagina is officially offended.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
