Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
