it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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