What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize