question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
