There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The power of my boobs compel you
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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