so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
