Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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