i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
