I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
