are you so shy because you have an std?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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