I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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