When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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