So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We are all done wearing pants today
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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