It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
