Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize