at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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