I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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