He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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