if you like me you must not know who I am
I bet he comes in French.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize