did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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