dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
