Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Non-Jews are for practice
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
