so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
