I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
