i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
