if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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