the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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