the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
